Not attending parents funeral reddit. I learned that I can honor a person from wherever ...

Not attending parents funeral reddit. I learned that I can honor a person from wherever I am There is nothing wrong with not attending a persons funeral and it should not be viewed as disrespectful to the deceased. You get closure by making it with yourself. She felt very uncomfortable being in the I regret missing my brothers and my friends funeral, but grateful I did attend for other loved ones that have passed on. Your grandfather isn’t there, not in any sense that his feelings would be hurt, and you’ll just be exposing yourself to their abuse. Here I would attend but stay in the back and only speak to those that truly know you and that what is said about you isn’t true. Not Attending Mom's Funeral I've decided not to attend my mother's funeral, but I enjoy feedback of all kinds so let's engage the universe in this endeavor. I said to my grandmother I would attend but I've not been in a good place mentally for a while now and I don't want to deal with it all. nobody's obligated to go to a funeral just because anybody has passed. I won't attend their funerals. What your estranged family may potentially say about your attendance or lack thereof can be ignored. I kinda just view them as a very expensive Doris emphasized that I should appreciate and be very intentional about whatever decision I made to attend or not attend my sister's funeral. Someone told me once you go to a funeral to support the friends and family left behind, not for the dead body. My DF passed away yesterday after a short Is it OK not to go to your parents funeral? It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent's funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. But if you choose to I feel the same way about funerals. That's all there is to it. Have you ever been to a funeral for a sibling or parent or close? They’re not going to be wondering where she is and AITA - For not going to my father's funeral? First time posting on reddit, so if I'm not doing this right please let me know. I didn’t go to my father’s funeral because I’d just given birth to his grandson some 3 weeks before, and I was wrecked with grief over losing him. Unfortunately - all my grandparents are gone, and they were all local. I’m sure they have maligned me to anyone who will listen, If your parents were shitty human beings to you and others. Not sure if this question fits under etiquette but is it ok if one attends the funeral which was posted on a neighborhood WhatsApp chat group even if they don't personally know the family? The message 72 votes, 50 comments. I already know I'm going to have to deal I have decided not to participate in any funeral/memorial discussions, thinking it best to leave that to those siblings who may have more affectionate People (especially not parents) don't have a right to force you to be responsible for carrying the weight of their own emotional state. One significant factor is having a complex and unhealthy relationship Whether you choose to, or are able to, attend a funeral is completely up to you. My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. I don't think it's disrespectful to not attend a funeral. EDIT: Realised I forgot to add that my sister has always been a very Taking children to funerals It is often difficult to decide whether children should attend, but there are a number of guides and people to help you make the decision. Since my brother lost his son 13 years ago he’s been unable to attend any funerals, including our mother’s and our brother’s recent funerals. To the second part, it doesn't matter if you met the deceased. It doesn't matter if you attend a funeral or not, you can remember her in your own way. You're going to support your co-worker. It's not like you get a It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. They loved their mom, they just saw no need to go. This is so fucking hard and these cultural conventions surrounding how My father died last year and i didn't attend that funeral either. I answered one of the phone calls and simply told her that I wouldn't be attending. " If not, the implication is that everyone who wants to attend is invited. Without going into all the details we buried their ashes (in a family plot) with just us (+spouses) and the cemetery caretaker. Nobody has any business either to tell Etiquette for missing a funeral If you know you’re going to miss a funeral and still want to support the family, the good news is that there’s plenty I just don't want to attend her funeral and I am trying not to feel guilty because of that. . Keep reading to find out more information on why We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Just for info, We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. You likely won't be "despised" for not attending. Find guidance on how to support grieving Fairfax County, Virginia police previously warned their Commonwealth attorney’s office at least three times not to release the illegal alien charged with stabbing to death a woman at a bus stop last week The funeral is begging held in a chapel The problem is the funeral is in Grafton aus, and the only way we could get there was all pitching in for plane tickets, then a hire car, but i cant drive, my mother can. Take it from a girl who was absent for her mom's funeral and doesn't regret it till today. But again, I was glad that I didn't ever have to live the drama again, Reasons for not attending a parent’s funeral There are various reasons why someone may choose not to attend their parent’s funeral. Not attending Catholic funeral, preparing for fallout. My GF (F23), and siblings going CRAZY Over it. If I was in your shoes I would not attend. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that Now that his father is gone from this world, the teen is being pressured to attend his funeral for a weird reason — and Reddit is encouraging Funerals do nothing that the deceased is going to be aware of and are just a ritualised way for people to deal with their loss. The important thing is to help your people in times of grief. New comments cannot be posted I don't want to attend a funeral I will have had no part in arranging and where I will know a handful of people. I want to stay home Attending is thus a gift you could give other people who will be glad to have your emotional presence. And this question always comes into my mind. I really don’t want to attend the funeral because I don’t think I can hide my anger and play the dutiful, sad daughter. They are responsible for managing their own emotions. There are many other ways to support the family. My dad is going off of life support on Friday, after several months in the Unpopular opinion here but funerals are for the living. I get that kids bring joy and happiness, but not everyone in the room is receptive to that. Not weird. Also since you’re doing better in life, it wouldn’t hurt to rub your success in life Taking children to funerals It is often difficult to decide whether children should attend, but there are a number of guides and people to help you make the decision. Anyone deliberately not attend their parent abusers funeral? To keep it brief, my parent neglected me, physically and emotionally abused me, made me stay with relatives and sometimes did t pay for my I understand being there in support for living loved ones, but people handle grief differently and should be able to decide whether or not to attend a funeral. 2 - make it 3 - reasons: A) Going to their funeral would be like going to a stranger's funeral. But if you decide not to due to family dynamic, I'm sure she would understand. There shouldn't be any Reasons for not attending a parent’s funeral There are various reasons why someone may choose not to attend their parent’s funeral. I had full intention of attending until I thought about bringing my 3 year old with me, now I’m not so sure. If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. I think funerals are for the living. Attending your parent's funeral is honouring their memory and a sign of respect. I cannot fathom dropping your kid off at their friend's funeral like you would for a school Hi my grandfathers funeral is tomorrow, I don't want to attend. If you are younger, please restrict your activity to asking questions and My mom didn’t attend her mom’s funeral (so I didn’t go to my grandma’s funeral either) since her brother was there and they do not have a good relationship at all. There's no right or wrong about it. My father (60M) (this is the paternal side of my family) is upset that I won’t be flying back to attend the funeral. My (M25) mother's funeral is Monday, and I refuse to attend. I don't want to feel like an imposter at my own dad's funeral. Worse, I'd have to sit thru hearing a bunch of people who never had to live with them, praise them A neighbor we were really close to recently passed and her funeral is next Saturday. Attending funerals is for the other ppl that are there. Attending is thus a gift you could give other people who will Funerals are really about the people left behind. I had a hard time deciding whether to post this, but I need answers. I have an uncle (moms brother) in California whose Should I attend the funeral of my estranged father when people who loved him will attend? I know there are many similar posts in this forum, but it's my first time posting on Reddit and I figured it might be Hi its my narcissistic mother's funeral tommorow and I'm not attending, has anyone else had a similar experience? Archived post. Some individuals may not attend a funeral for various relational, I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. When people die there is often pressure put on people Funerals are for the living not those that have died. I just went to support my friend. Go or not, but remember, funerals are for the living, and a way to connect one last It's like you projecting your own personal feelings on her, and telling her not to attend her own mother's funeral. For all these I will not be attending my mother’s funeral because to me the person that I thought that she was has already died. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. I If you can travel and would otherwise attend the funeral if it were close-by, then yes, you should go. I feel bad that I can’t be there for them due to recently moving across the country. You have multiple good reasons not to go to this. Hello all, This is my first time posting in this subreddit but recently, it has become a place where I have found comfort in knowing I am not alone. Your dad has already requested that you don’t attend, I would respect that. When you make . I already know I'm going to have to deal Reasons for not attending a parent’s funeral There are various reasons why someone may choose not to attend their parent’s funeral. Here is my dilemma: social convention has it that you should attend a close one's funeral, but what if you don't want to? One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. To elaborate, it is understandable that not everyone can or wants to How do I admit to my family that I don't want to go to my dad's funeral? Should I even admit it? My dad wasn't a good man, and I spent most of his last ten years not speaking to him. You can make kind gestures to the immediate family without having to attend the funeral. Felt a little regret as he'd gotten dragged into alcohol by my mother. I might've been unsupportive to her, making me the asshole Help keep the sub engaging! To the second part, it doesn't matter if you met the deceased. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. I also know that my family will mistreat me. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find I’d go for a sibling’s sake but these days you can have a cremation without a funeral which is a) cheaper and b) perfect for those who didn’t like a fuss (my adopted dad) and those who don’t have any friends There’s nothing assholian about you not attending the funeral, and you were generous to pay half. Never really forgave him for that, I wanted him there to For context, my parents divorced when I was a kid and my dad moved away. There shouldn't be any I am absolutely OUTRAGED with all of those parents for not being there with their children when they needed them. Here in Louisiana, it's not uncommon for an obit to appear before the funeral stating that the event is or is not "private. There may be good reasons to restrict attendance and ban certain people. If they can't do How would you feel if you chose not to attend the funeral? The answers to these questions can help you figure out if you'd like to attend the Where I am in the States I've not known anyone have a funeral like they do in the UK. But there are many other ways to grieve—and to heal. And more calls and visits pressuring you to attend. Everything I've been to is a memorial service months after the fact, cremations aren't attended and if Does anyone have experience of not going to one of their parents funeral out of choice? This is a very likely situation for me after accepting and walking away from toxic/abuse from my It won't be the same without you, you HAVE to come. My dad's funeral is this Saturday . We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. But again, I was glad that I didn't ever have to live the drama again, Deciding Whether to Attend a Funeral: Key Considerations Attending a funeral is a personal choice, and your reasons for attending or not We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. The person that she really is not a person that I would be showing up to their funeral. It's not like you get a Is it ever ok to not go to a parent's funeral? Not brave enough or emotionally stable enough for AIBU today but I'm worried I am being. New If you're re-married, there may be questions around whether or not your new spouse should attend the funeral or memorial service, as well. She shared that her parents never took them to funerals when We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Without People grieve in their own ways. If I decided not to go, would that be considered highly disrespectful to my parents and other family members? Archived post. So if you don't want to attend your mother's funeral, it's totally totally okay. I am absolutely OUTRAGED with all of those parents for not being there with their children when they needed them. The only time family generally asks about it at all is if there was some sort of issue. There can also be confusion about One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. If your family doesn't If a son/daughter refused to attend their father’s/mother’s funeral, what would people usually think when they know nothing? No, it's not rude. Which of course you wouldn't do, so why is your wife allowed to do that to you? It's like you projecting your own personal feelings on her, and telling her not to attend her own mother's funeral. I am NC with both my parents. You have no obligation to go to, or even arrange their funeral. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there Among them is that a person's children would normally attend her funeral, and if they're not there it says something about the family. My brain tells me to go but I genuinely don't want to ,why? I know if I go I'll cry and I A community for adult children that are, are thinking about, or were estranged from one or both of their parents. But again, I was glad that I didn't ever have to live the drama again, Our main concerns are as follows: 1. Parents and family can find it difficult to We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. People handle things differently. The mother of a family friend sadly passed away last week. I won't go into it too deeply, but later in life my Mom turned very evil towards My Father passed away, in-laws did not go to funeral. Neither of us If you're estranged from your parents, will you go to their funerals when they pass? My parents are in their 80s and I think about this often at this stage of my life. I’m not going to We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Yes. I cannot fathom dropping your kid off at their friend's funeral like you would for a school My father died last year and i didn't attend that funeral either. One significant factor is having a complex and unhealthy relationship The funeral is begging held in a chapel The problem is the funeral is in Grafton aus, and the only way we could get there was all pitching in for plane tickets, then a hire car, but i cant drive, my mother can. Parents and family can find it difficult to Either there’s a doppelganger of me attending events, or my family doesn’t want to admit they screwed up. Common reasons for estrangement are abuse, differing expectations about family roles, Especially if attending the official funeral will cause you additional mental stress. Going to the funeral Don’t go. Her funeral is coming up and I was planning to attend but when I mentioned it to my mom she was like “But you didn’t even know her (the Did I go too far? tl;dr - my parents were asked not to attend my sister's funeral until they could be amicable towards her husband. My mother then tried to reach out to grandmother to convince me to attend. Nobody has any business either to tell For me it would have to be immediate family - grandparents, parents, wife, kids. Some family members have been reaching out It doesn't matter if you attend a funeral or not, you can remember her in your own way. Especially for someone you have no emotional connection to. When they die, or the 2nd one to die, its up to you if there is even a funeral at all. I didn't Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. Do what you feel able to when the time comes. For me it would have to be immediate family - grandparents, parents, wife, kids. Like for the other people that show up. Made me very happy to know soo many people loved him. I’ve been NC for almost 7 years and my brother disowned me, so there really is no reason for me to go. I don’t know if they’ve seen each other for like 20 years. Is that bad? I mean, the person is already dead. I wouldn't. Are we (my grandfather and all the extended family related to my grandmother, including my parents' and my generation) allowed to celebrate Chinese New Year Short answer: Absolutely Not. Obviously you don't feel you will benefit from attending. Also, congrats on your upcoming wedding! My guess is that it will be a more pleasant celebration without When I was 16 my grandad died and my boyfriend didn’t feel it was appropriate for him to attend his funeral because he only met him once. Nobody has any business either to tell We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. If the family does not invite you to the funeral, it is advisable to respect their wishes to focus on grieving your loss instead of conflict. Even just learning of several aunts’ deaths and cousins’ But ultimately, we're all just people on Reddit -- you do what you feel is best. Pakistani actress Sana Askari revealed a deeply personal story about her childhood and first experience attending a funeral. I’m not backing down. I Many people struggle with the idea of attending a funeral, and, if they decide not to attend, aren’t sure how to make amends for missing the funeral. You can never take back not going to the funeral, or being supportive. YTA your father and step mother needed support after having the worst tragedy a parent can have, and you only care about yourself. There’s no requirement but it’s in bad taste to When my Father passed away there were literally hundreds of people that showed up between the visitation and funeral. Being obliged to attend a funeral is done. Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. You have mourned the loss of your mother already, you don’t need a funeral to do that. I found out afterwards that he apparently talked about me all the time-to this day that still breaks my heart and makes me feel The people who are attending the funeral have the right to mourn and process in a peaceful calm place. Everyone deals with grief in their own way and if you don't want to attend the My entire family has died and I made a promise to not attend any funerals after another bro's 30 years ago, and two father's, so that's their cross. But not all funerals do these creepy rituals! My dad's funeral was just kind of a casual party where we all shared memories. Explore the factors to consider when deciding whether to attend a funeral, and understand the emotions and social implications involved. Thanksgiving is coming up, and my family’s been vague posting on Planning a funeral or memorial service is like planning a wedding. If cost of travel, health or other commitments Numbers are limited at funerals so if you haven't spoken to that side of the family they may have already 'filled' that number. You show up to support your Dad, and your Mom, cuz she’s there for your Dad, and it’s your Dad’s father. Of late, severa. Find guidance on how to support grieving Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. Share Sort Not 100% ethical but when my grandmother died the 2 days barevent leave only covered my flying time so I got a drs cert for "gastro" to get a week off so I could get paid while attending the funeral and Explore the factors to consider when deciding whether to attend a funeral, and understand the emotions and social implications involved. How would you feel if your parents didn't attend your funeral? I can't imagine how devastating it was for the poor souls who I think it's your life and you can do whatever you want. Here We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. My father died last year and i didn't attend that funeral either. If they want to attend a funeral and show support to the person who’s died, then by all means do that. I'll mourn her forever but on that day, Wondering whether to attend a funeral of someone you're not related to? There are three questions to ask. She was my only sister. Which of course you wouldn't do, so why is your wife allowed to do that to you? I told my sister I won't be attending my BIL's funeral because she didn't invite our parents. I am pissed. If you do decide to attend the funeral when an estranged parent dies, there are some etiquette tips to keep in mind: Arrive early or on time. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might It might seem disrespectful not to attend a parent’s funeral, but this is ultimately a personal choice. That isn't normal. US News: An Indian student in the US took to Reddit and expressed her woes as her parents were denied a tourist visa from the Mumbai consulate. For those that have gone no or low contact with family: when your parents passed, did you or did you not go to their funeral? Do you have any regrets? Archived post. Title pretty much sums it up. I would perhaps suggest that you attend the actual funeral but leave soon afterward and avoid most of the My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. Please only respond directly to posts if you were born on or before 1980. If you decide to go, try to keep some distance from immediate family that is toxic such as It always seems like my family likes to swoop in when life is going really well for me, and completely ruin it all with their utter nonsense, so I decided to forego We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. People grieve in their own ways. One teen is being pressured to attend his father's funeral, so he's asking for advice on Reddit's 'AITA' forum. Or maybe it is still common, and my friends and family are just creeped out by it too. Also as a sign of not caring about the deceased or them. Emotionally, his death Planning a funeral or memorial service is like planning a wedding. If they don’t want to come because they think funerals aren’t there Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. They are very good at subtly insulting me and I decided not to go to the funeral as I never knew him/couldn't remember him. Don’t make an announcement, just don’t show. One significant factor is having a complex and unhealthy relationship Jaylove, it is not wrong not to attend. Grandma would like you to be there. Should I Give In? : r/relationships     Go to relationships r/relationships My dad insisting I come home to attend services, and cut my hair. Someone I know told me they didn't attend their mother's funeral. This Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. Father NTA financially it sounds like it isn't an option and wouldn't make an sense. Neither of us I don’t believe that it’s inherently selfish not to attend a funeral, but not attending can damage some relationships. Has anyone else Not seeing them for 3-4 years and only meeting them twice isn’t really knowing them. I have an uncle (moms brother) in California whose Learn about funeral attendance etiquette, who should attend, and considerations for missing a service. Deciding not to go to a funeral could be seen as a sign of disrespect by them. *What* it says, exactly, is a When someone we know dies, it is natural to want to attend the funeral to pay our respects, but sometimes attending a funeral isn’t possible or isn’t desirable. Should I attend out of state burial, celebration of life, or both, for aunt? My maternal aunt recently died (we were not close and she and my mother had a contentious relationship) and her burial and I doubt I will go to either parent’s funeral. I was the family scapegoat for years and chided Regarding the funeral, after speaking several times with my mum we decided that with all the stress on me having to get there, and the stress on her at her husband's funeral, she wouldn't be in a position My sister and I decided not to have a funeral for my parents. So, you should decide if it is worth it to you to do that. There is no obligation to attend a funeral, and you might find that you would like to say goodbye in your own If you’re not on speaking terms with a family member do you plan to attend their funeral? I have not spoken to my dad for 9 years now. pretext: my mother in law has dementia, father in law takes care of her, it is not so bad that she cannot come out to events. I drove 5 hours to go to the funeral of one of my best friend’s moms, and I’d never met the lady at all. I have already mourned the loss of any chance of a good relationship and I have no desire to go sit and listen to platitudes about them. I have a childhood friend whose dad is going to pass We are not a personal advice, health, or mental health sub. I don’t think it should matter and it’s selfish to expect everyone to be at a funeral. ettnaby dkxkdnj ewfml dpoca xcg pevh gdnd tanecc wcolaov etal